Rock Center
The Normal Bar, hitting bookshelves Tuesday, explores what normal is when it comes to relationships between romantic partners. Natalie Morales sat down with one of the authors, Chrisanna Northrup for an upcoming interview airing Friday, February 8th at 10pm/9c on NBC's Rock Center with Brian Williams.
Northrup teamed up with two experts, sociologists Pepper Schwartz and James Witte, and together they launched a massive online relationship survey gathering responses from almost 100,000 people around the world. They asked everything from how much people trust their partners, to what makes them happiest, to their sexual habits.
So what does a modern couple look like? The answers are revealing.
Weigh in after the jump and tune in this Friday to NBC's Rock Center and Today to see where you place with couples from around the world.
Please be patient while survey loads. . .
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My loving wife and I grew up together from a very young age, and dated in our teen`s, and 30+ years later dated for One year, and then Married, and have a wonderful life, and 7 Beautifil Siberian Huskies.
My wife and I grew up from a very early together, Our mothers were single, and very good friends, my wife and I dated in our Teens, and was a "First" for both of us, and then I moved to live with my father, in southern NY and Life went on for 30+ years, and I moved back to NY to help with My parents, and their lter years, and we got back together, and exactly one year later we married, and have a very nice life, and 7 beautiful Siberian Huskies, and very nice home, and a happy life, and this with someone I have Loved my Entire Life!
This is very helpful knowing that there are somethings I have to work on with my husband to make our marriage better and a long lasting one. We have been married for 15 years and we had our ups and downs through our years. But most of all God and our families helped us to stay together. Snd our little furry friends we have to :)
When my hubby and I met it was love at first site. He was 18 and I was 16. We were married 2 months later. We will be celebrating our 35th Anniversary this year.
My husband and I have been a team for 45 years. A marriage is an adventure. Each day is a new experience. Some days are better than others but the fact that you are experiencing it together makes it work.
I have only one problem with this survey, will everybody answer all the questions honestly? For example will we all be honest about affairs and frequency of sex? If we don't the results will be flawed. Although the Today Show assured their audience that the survey is totally confidential will folks be honest, or will they fear some mistake they made in their marriage will somehow surface? If you can't be honest please don't answer the question. I wonder when the results will be announced ? Should be some interesting data, yet I doubt we'll see any great changes in the way we live...as they say "The more things change, the more they stay the same." Hmmm...we'll see.
I was married for 39 years to my best friend. With great sadness he passed away in January. We made sure that we said I love you everyday. He was my confidant and never judged me and I never judged him. We made all decisions together. We faced our hardships together. We took the time to enjoy each other. We never took separate vacations or have separate bank accounts or bills. Everything was ours. As a result of these ideals, I can count on one hand the amount of arguments we had in the 39 years of marriage.
I could have written this!! We were devoted to each other for 37 years and the love of my life passed away in May. We spent all of our free time together and after we retired we were constant companions (except for golf with the guys - him not me!). We designed and had our dream home built and the only time we disagreed was when we were choosing the counter-top in the kitchen!! I couldn't have asked for a better life with him except that we didn't get to grow old together as we had planned.
Thank you for your kind words and I am sorry for your loss. We did not get the chance to enjoy retirement. That was going to happen next year. We too built our current house together after we had a fire that we lost everything. He taught me how to be self sufficient and able to take care of fixing things from building the house. I will never have another love like him.
I was married for 22 yrs. the most wonderful time of my life. we had all the never apart and the the never arguing. All the I Love you everydays and total devotion to each other. Now I am broken and disabled from a car accident and he has decided after 15 yrs. of me being disabled that he doesn't want to take care of me and i got traded in for a younger not broken model that will drink and go party and run the bars with him in the later part of our life. i had 3 childre and he had 2 both from previous marraige that I took from his exwife and raised as my own from the time they were babies. I love them and nurtured them. They love me and i love them as my own. they father on the other hand even traded them in for his g/f's kids and gand kids. we also have 9 gankids he gave up. So how is that for blissful Soulmates with Undying Love for one another. So if you want a real story it hasn't got good yet. A year later I fall in Love with the sweetest soldier I have ever met. He is in Syria and I am in the USA we meet online and he steals my heart. Then months later he tells me its his birthday and I send him a birthday package that is supposed going to a woman who works for Army Air Cargo that is going to send it Via a soldier flying over that weekend so he can get it on time and it 2 weeks to set this up. I mail it and 2 days later I get a call from a woman inVa. who recieved the package for a man whom she doesn't know, his name is Sgt. Major Jeffrey Tanner, but to her he is Jeffrey Green who is living in Australia and has just has just sold his business and is about to move back to the states to be with her. She calls me and wants to know who this man is. We have discovered that he is a man possibly in Nigeria and is also probably scamming another woman in Alambama. He's getting a package from me, he has had the woman in Alabama sending him money via the woman in Va. to Nigeria to a man named Michael in Nigeria. Now he has snet the woman in Va. money the woman in Alabama money for her to pay to send him the package and is supposedly in Love with her. She calls me and we figues out his scheme. She is sending me the package back, using his money and sending me part of the money the lady in Alabama sent him so I can pay nills he promised to help pay. Have researched this man to make sure he's real. There is a Jeffrey Tanner in the Us Army that went to the Citadel while in the Army and is now stationed as confidential. Found same man on FB and MY Space. Pictures of same man on FB/My Space/Yahoo and Speed Date.com, all as Jeffrey. Sent woman in Va. a pic of same man that is dif than then the man a pic that was totally dif than ones posted online. So we have an International scam going on here from a man who same man who is possibly in Nigeria who calls and texts the woman in Va. from and im's me on yahoo in Fl and we don't know how he contacts the woman in Alabama or if he is the woman in Alabama! but we are positive he is scamming older disabled or retired women in the USA. I am going to the Army with this tomorrow on 2/11/13. If you want a story here is one that's going to hit the news very soon unless the govt. tried to hide it. Do you want the chance to cover this international scam against our elderly disabled women in America. He obviously we know hasvbeen doing this for at least 5 or 6 months cause he been talking to woman in Va. that long and has done numerous money transactions for money for him to Nigeria for him over this period. Says he's in Love with both of us and contacts both of us at the same exact time cause we are on the phone talking together while he is talking to us both!! Going to be a big and long story!!
With the sex questions, what % of those super happy couples sleeping nude and having sex 3-4 times a week are parents?
My husband and I were married at the ripe age of 18years old. We dated since we were 15 years old and sadly the bottom fell out after 41 years of marriage. Now that is a sad story!
My wife and I have been together since we were 14 years old. We have been together for 28 years of those 28 years we have been married going on 16 years. Marriage is a lot of give and take on both sides of the marriage, but communication is the key to any relationship. We are still very deeply in love and still surprise each other often.
This would be a perfect time for NBC to have my niece, Kim Moore, on the show....she is the author of the new book "NOW THAT'S ROMANTIC".....it is an AWESOME BOOK that everyone could use to get their romance back in their relationship. Good for all ages, singles, married, divorced, newlyweds, etc. A local TV station visited/interviewed her....it was well received.
My husband and I were married for 39 years. He just passed away in January. When he passed I lost my best friend. He was my confidant. We tried to make each other laugh everyday. We always said that we loved each other everyday before we went off to work. Everything we did together because that is the way we wanted it to be. We worked side by side to make decisions. I can count on one hand the amount of serious arguments we had over the 39 years.
missbobjen - I'm so sorry for your loss. I read your words and it really reminds me of me and my husband. I can't imagine life without him & my heart aches for you. I hope you're doing well and am VERY happy for you that you got to spend 39 years with your best friend. ((((hugs))).
missbobjen - I tried to post this once and it didn't show up. I just wanted to say that your words remind me so much of me and my husband. We've only been married 3 years, in our 30's but we laugh together everyday like you said and he is my best friend. I can't imagine life without him and my heart aches for you that you are suffering such a loss. I am, however, VERY happy that you got to spend 39 years with your best friend. I hope I am so lucky. (((hugs))) and thanks for the reminder that I'm a very lucky woman.
I met my husband in 1982.We hit it off right away.I was so in love with him,but after a long time of being seperate from his life I didnt know his friends,he didnt take me anywhere,we did nothing together.For 10 years it was that way.I finally got a job and had an affair.I regreted it very much.He made sure I had fallen back in love with him and then he had an affair.I forgave him because I knew I deserved it.but then a year later he cheated again. that changed me .I put up a wall and done things I never would have done.We divorced after 19 years stayed apart for a year remarried and now we have been married for 30 years.So you can survive affairs but It takes God to mend all the broken parts.alcohol was the very root of it all
My husband and I met at the mall for the first time at age 13. We met up again one year later and started "going out". We went through a lot of hard times as two young people would having to deal with such feelings at such a tender age. That was 1987, and I am happy to say that we both just turned 40 and are more in love now than ever. We have 3 grown children 2 grand children...and I can say the secret is... that you fix something when it is broke not just throw it away. So many people just think they will move on and someone else will be a different story...Just stay and work on what you have..your first leaves an imprint that will not go away.
I met my husband in 1982.I fell head over hills in love with him.It wasnt the fairy tale marriage.He drank and stayed out all the time with his friends while I was at home with the kids .We did nothing together.I took it for 10 years then I got a job and a man showed me attention I never got so I had a affair.My husband found out and we healed from that then one year later he cheated.I felt it was fair so got over that and he cheated again 6 monyhs later .That changed me from the nieve shy girl I had always been.We divorced after 19 years .We stayed apart for 1 year both of us got back to God and now we have been married 30 years .You can survive affairs but it takes God to heal the wounds.
My husband and I have been married for 40 years. We have shared gloriously happy days and really low days, though low days are few and far between as we gracefully grow old together. That's our normal. We have always slept in the nude and this has not affected greater frequency of sex. We've never been on the same frequency regarding sex but we've made it through that challenge, perhaps once a month but who can remember at this point.
One mistake we did make - not scheduling intimate time during the day on weekends when our children were young. Parents should take advantage of their kids' nap times or hire a babysitter to take them out for a walk. Forget the dishes or laundry and enjoy some sacred alone time.
Second bit of advice: The fantasies of romance novel authors can easily add to unreasonable expectations relative to relationships. Read them for what they are --- FICTION!!!
Shared goals, trust, hard work and forgiveness are very important factors in successful relationships. Also, know that nature blessed us with age onset close vision blurriness - my husband and I do not see all the wrinkles. When the glasses come off we see the same wonderful faces we looked at as 40 somethings, forget lasiks!
Get out there, you lonely single folks, and commit to someone with whom you share interests, goals and fun!!!!
Not sexually attracted to husband any more. There. I said it.
I first saw my husband at a Safeway in Tulsa, OK. I was 15, and he was 17. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen . . . and now after 45 years of marriage he still is. He is honest, compassionate, loving, forgiving and has been the stabilizing force behind our lives together.
We have been married 3months after a 2 year relationship. It is our second marriage. Life couldn't be better. My Ross is my friend,lover and husband. I can say He is the last thing i think of at night before I sleep,and the first thing I think of when I wake each day. We can talk about anything-and do agree to disagree, when we dont have the same feeling about a subject.Respect is very important.We also have 7 children all together. We both realize that our parenting styles, were different when the children were going up. Affection and spontaneous changes in plans are are always welcome. I really like what I see and feel really blessed to have such a great man as my partner for life. Anne
I ABSOLUTELY disagree with pornography use! It IS addictive, many are addicted. Research is beginning to show how detrimental it is in relationships! Because people took a survey and said they like it, doesn't mean it has any place in a relationship. Pornography use is terrible. Did you NOT notice yourselves any correlation between your findings on trust and pornography use?? Do you know how much pornography use contributes to sex trafficking in this world??