By Michelle Balani
Rock Center
After being married for 21 years, Paul and Jean Pearson thought they had mastered the art of navigating life’s tough decisions, but nothing could have prepared them for Paul’s illness. Paul, a 73-year-old retired architect, was diagnosed in February with inoperable lung cancer. Although the couple had talked about their healthcare wishes throughout their marriage, the experience forced them to confront how Paul wants to spend the rest of his days.
“Jean and I have been really open with each other and tried to put as much thought into this,” Paul Pearson said. “It makes you think about, ‘What do I want to do?’ Do I want to go through the pain, the suffering? And it’s not just me, it’s the whole family.”
The Pearsons didn’t want there to be any doubt about Paul’s wishes to put quality of life over quantity. They decided to put their wishes in writing and file a document called an advance directive at their hospital, Gundersen Lutheran in La Crosse, Wis. It’s considered by many healthcare experts to be the best place to die in America.
Having this kind of discussion, say health care advocates, not only gives patients and their families greater peace of mind, it can save the healthcare system a lot of money.
A study conducted by The Dartmouth Institute for Health Policy and Clinical Practice found that seven out of 10 Americans die from chronic disease and, as Americans live longer and longer, many families have no end of life game plan in place. The uncertainty over how to handle a loved one’s last days often results in more medical intervention, according to the Dartmouth study. Researchers found that patients with chronic illness in their last two years of life account for about 25 percent of total Medicare spending, much of it paying for repeated hospitalizations.
The Dartmouth Atlas of Health Care found that the costs of care at Gundersen were significantly lower than the national average. At Gundersen, patients in the last six months of life spend half as many days in the hospital as the national average.
“Our approach is patient-centered,” Bud Hammes, director of Medical Humanities at Gundersen Lutheran Health System, told Rock Center in an interview. “We really focus on what does the patient want, how can we help them live well. Patients and their families want the best care. And the best care happens to be less care at this particular point in their life. Americans don't want to die hooked up to machines.”
The hospital’s program, Respecting Choices, was developed by Hammes and implemented in the early 1990s. It's turned into a national model with Hammes and his team training other medical professionals across the nation.
“Medicine, from my perspective, is the care of humans and it's the care of individual humans. You know, each human coming through that door is an individual. And we have to tailor the medical treatment we provide in accordance and in respect of that individual's beliefs, values, and preferences. And if we're not doing that, we're not really fulfilling the full potential, and the full mission of medical care,” Hammes said.
Gundersen Lutheran’s program encourages patients facing death to have an honest conversation with their loved ones and their doctors about what treatments they wish to have or not have as their health declines. They file a plan, an advance directive, that is adhered to as their health diminishes. The program focuses on having these conversations when patients are healthy enough to have them, not when they are in the ER.
“This is really a gift that you’re giving to your family because at some point, if they’re needing to make a decision, they can go back to this and say, ‘Yes, this is hard. This is difficult, but this is what mom, or this is what dad, really wanted,’” said Carrie Lapham, a palliative care nurse at Gundersen.
Lapham has been helping patients with incurable illnesses for more than 20 years.
“I’ve seen situations where there hasn’t been a power of attorney for health care or an advance directive done and I’ve seen families struggle and try to determine whether their loved one would want this,” Lapham said. “And, wow, you know, a decision has to be made, but family members can live with this for a long time after, wondering whether or not they made the right decision.”
One of the things they’ve learned at Gundersen is that talking about how you want to die can help improve the patient’s quality of life.
“The cost of care goes down, because we are not taking them back to the hospital and doing all of those expensive things they don’t want. Ultimately we all still die and ultimately at some point, in each of our lives, even the best medical care won’t change the outcome,” Hammes said.
According to Hammes, 96 percent of the people living in La Crosse have some type of written end of life care plan in their medical records. The advance directive process starts with a very tough, very honest meeting called “next steps.” Paul and Jean Pearson allowed Rock Center to sit in on their “next steps” meeting. The emotional and revealing discussion was led by Jacqui Kartman, a nurse practitioner.
“Give me as much time as I can get, but keep me comfortable,” Paul told Kartman of his wishes for his final days.
The conversation took 45 minutes and involved questions ranging from specific treatments to the symptoms Paul worried most about to the bucket list the couple had made for their remaining time together.
He said he worried about not being able to breathe, didn’t want to be a burden on Jean and was scared of the possibility of needing to go to a nursing home. Both Paul and Jean said that they wanted him to have quality time over quantity.
“What I am going to do now is read through these situations [and have you tell me your wishes],” Kartman told Paul during the meeting. “I have a serious complication from my cancer or treatment for my cancer, so that I was facing a prolonged hospital stay, and my chance of living through the complications is low. For example, only five out of 100 patients would live.”
“I would deny treatment,” answered Paul.
“It was expected that I would never either walk or talk or both and I would require 24-hour nursing care,” continued Kartman.
“It would be the same answer,” Paul said emphatically.
What happened in the meeting seemed as important for Jean as it was for her husband.
“He is my soul mate, and the thought of losing him terrifies me,” she told Kartman. “But he’s not going to get better, and we know that.”
Planning ahead has also brought peace to the couple’s six adult children. It was hard to hear about their father talking about his wishes for his last days, but now that they know what he wants, they have accepted it.
“You know, it does put everybody at ease,” said Ryan Pearson.
“All of us can be prepared for each step as it comes,” said Eric Pearson.
The Pearsons don't feel like victims of their circumstances. In fact, it’s just the opposite. The process has helped Paul decide how he wants to live the rest of his life. On the schedule are more fishing trips and historical re-enactments, a favorite pastime of the couple.
“Life is a gift,” Jean Pearson said. “None of us have a guarantee that we’re going to live forever here. This gives us that advantage that we don’t have to be second-guessing. What should I do? We’ve already made those decisions. And they’re hard decisions. But we’re OK with them.”
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I think what most people are referring to is a formula the Government will put in place. There is an average dollar amount for a "treatment", say a heart or kidney transplant. They then look at your age, your general health past and present and a few other staistics like smoking, drinking, other ailments such as aids. This gives you a number. If you fall within the numbers you get the treatment. If you do not fall into the numbers you don't. You and your family do not have a say. You live or you die. The decision is made for you and your family. Do not think I am making this up. This is a reality forthcoming.
Tom, wake up, grow up, think, this is nothing new re who gets preferential treatment... Dickhead Cheney got a heart (yes, he did not have one, but not the point) after how many heart attacks n he is OLD n EVIL, who went w/out one bc of this... money talks, power talks, celebrity talks... this is as wrong as wrong can be, but it is how the world is n again, it is nothing new
So it begins. The media spin for justifying denial of treatment by bureaucrats via Obamacare.
I say this with all sincerity. I hope every single liberal feels the full effect from Obamacare on every possible level.
have you had to make the decision to let a family member go yet? You have no idea what it involves or the heartache that it encompasses.
Joy, why ask a question and then respond before it's answered?
Don't be delusional about ObamaCare. It is going to suck the blood out of this country.
I think many of you are missing the point of the "death panel" comments. I don't think anyone has a problem with an individual sitting down with his/her doctor and completing an advanced medical directive. What we who refer to "death panels" do object to is not having the choice of making a directive tailored to our needs but having some nameless, faceless person in Washington deciding what treatment we can have without any input from us. That is a fact in the Obamacare legislation. Be rational. The only way to add more people to the health care system and somehow hold down costs is to deny certain procedures to certain people. Who makes that decision? Call it anything you like but the result is the same, someone in Washington gets to decide that the cancer treatment you need or the heart bypass surgery isn't going to happen because you are over a certain age, have only a limited life expectancy and can no longer lead a productive life. I could define that for you but the general gist is that you can no longer pay taxes to Washington due to your poor health and inability to work. Check out what goes on in those countries so often cited as paragons of "free health care". Do you think they come here for care because it's so much better? Not likely. It's because it can't be obtained in their own country in a timely manner due to restrictions by government on what will or won't be paid for. Death panels might be a little too real for most of you but in the end that's exactly what they are. You die for lack of care because some panel decided you couldn't have it because you no longer deserved it.
Currently it's an insurance company panel. Whose primary concern is the maximizing profits.
At 38 years of age, I know I never want to be in a position where I'm being kept alive by machines and/or surgery and/or drug infusions. What's precious about life is that it's fleeting- to artificially extend it lessens the beauty and magic of it somehow, in my mind. So I have a DNR wish, but it's not an order yet. If it's my time to go, I'm going and I don't want a bunch of strangers sticking me full of tubes and needles trying to keep me from my date with destiny. This article made me realize I'd better get my wishes in writing, because my 3 teenage daughters shouldn't have to make that call when it's time.
wait until it's you on that end........
I say GOD/JESUS will take you when he wants you. I feel we as humans don't have the right to play GOD. Leave his work to him and quit taking matters into human hands. May GOD/JESUS bless us all and may rapture come soon.
Thanks clara, for your totally useless comment on this subject............
So you're opposed to any medical treatment?
But are we not playing God with the artificial means applied to the terminally ill? What makes you think God didn't make the decision and we are tampering with that decision?
Nice job. Let's put stories encouraging less health care and earlier death as an advantagous alternative. The death panals will be a little hard to push down some of the publics throats in the beginning. Not everyone has drank from the sacred kool-aid chalice yet. But stories like this one will help make it more palatable.
There are studies in which dying cancer patients live longer if they choose hospice care over the Doing Everything that their oncologists try to push down their throats. Extreme medical treatment does not just destroy quality of life - it is so hard on the body that it can actually kill you. I would prefer to die sooner and easier rather than later and more horribly. You obviously disagree. But what if the real choice turns out to be later and easier versus sooner and horribly?
Personally I want to live as long as I am healthy. If I need constant care, let me go.
The ancient Romans were concerned that they die well. We all want to live as well as possible, so it is only logical that since we can't avoid the inevitable, we also should plan to die well. To ignore the eventuality of death is like hiding under a pillow...it will do no good. Yet for one's self, partners and family, grasping the reality of death and properly reconciling all involved to it is really an obligation for all of us. Face it, when we're dead we won't care. But for those left behind, the loss will be sad enough. Don't spring it on them...prepare in advance the same way you prepare for college, vacations and children. If you love your family, it should be a no-brainer. And don't wait for advanced age to force your hand. Prepare for it when death is still a distant reality. That way, everyone is on board well in advance and there is actually pre-closure already in play. The Ancient Egyptian civilization lasted 3000 years. The most enduring and successful civilization ever by human beings. They planned for death as a regular part of living and got a great sense of comfort when funerary plans were established and done. I think they knew a thing or two about life...and death...that we can put our faith in.
Fine, just as long as some idiot government bureaucrat isn't making the decision for me. The decision is mine and my family's alone to make, not some damned death panel.
Then maybe the alternative is that each patient is required to have the proper documents to establish what they want when the situation presents itself. No proper document on file, no insurance payments no disability no law suits. Take the money out of the equation and take responsibility for your final days.
My Mother didn't have an advance directive. She became ill after a foot surgery and became septic. They treated her with all kinds of antibiotics and other meds to which she had no improvement at all, and she was going down hill everyday. They eventually put her on life support of which she had made me promise to never let them do. She put it on my shoulders to reject this for her. I have brothers a one living sister, and yet I was the one that was left with this god awful decision. I told the doctors what my mother had made me promise and they waffled about doing it. I had to get my siblings to back me (which they agreed with only because they couldnt stay for her to go while life support stretched out her life here). Now my one sister says that maybe we took her off too soon. Like I needed to hear that, I am always beating myself up. Mom was 77 and she didn't want to be on life support, the doctors said they had tried everything, I know she wanted to be let go but I still feel guilty. I will always wonder if I did the right thing.
You did the right thing because that is what she wanted. Please feel no guilt. If your Mom had wanted to try and fight on life-support, but the Doctors, or a panel of "experts" decided that her (subjective) quality of life was not worth the cost...that would have been awful. You are a wonderful Daughter.
My mom, sister and I just went through this with my dad. A routine surgery went bad several hours after the surgery when my dad suffered a very bad stroke. Emergency surgery revealed extensive damage that, at best, would have left him paralyzed and relegated to a nursing home. He had a medical directive, plus we all knew years ago what he did and did not want in a situation like this. WE collectively directed the ventilator be removed. A week to the hour later he passed away. Except for the last week of my dad's life he had done anything he wanted. He was 84. I can only hope I go as easily, and I have already drafted a directive for myself (and wife) so nobody has to suffer the guilt. I would never put a burden like that on my wife or only son. Also, hospice (comfort care) is the best thing out there.
On a side note. In the days following my dad's passing an old friend of my mom's stopped by to see us. Her husband had suffered a similar stroke 8 months prior, but they did all they could to keep him alive (a good doctor can keep a rock alive). She told my mom that her husband has been in a facility ever since. She has daughters north and south, both 4-6 hours away that she would love to be closer to (they take turns every weekend visiting their mom). She said my mom was "lucky", and there are worse things than death.
You did the right thing. You know that in your heart. Your mother, as harsh as it sounds, did not do the right thing. She needed to put in writing, legal. She visited a burden on you that should not have been. Your sister has the same doubts because of the lack of end of live issues addressed in a responsible legal way.
You served your mother well. Please serve your family well and get it down on paper and make legal.
The government would not have to inter with this item, if we took charge of our own responsiblities as tough as they are.
Is this the first propaganda piece coming from the ObamaCare rationing board .... or did I miss one somewhere?
Holy Smokes ! ! !
It appears the media now making a case (writing an article in support of) why Senior Citizens should not extend their lives, with medical treatments - rationalizing and using a quality of life argument ?!?!?
This is basically a pre-emptive strike to try and counter the anticipated outrage that will eventually occur under Obama-Care when they deny Seniors expensive medical treatments, because of their age & expected life-span.
Media message to Seniors..."You really don't want that expensive medical treatment to extend your life, as the quality won't be very good."
WOW...this is really sad & scary to see the attempt at brain-washing the public with media supporting stories about Big Government & the resulting Socialism-esque direction we are taking as a Nation.
why do you see politics in this at all?
Some of us realise that if we are diagnosed with a terminal illness and have experienced what a person goes through with treatments that won't change the outcome, know that quality of life would be a better choice.
Until you have to watch a loved one suffer, be so sick they cannot enjoy being with you and then still die, you will not understand the importance of this article.
My Father has pancreatic cancer...he is fighting despite awful odds...he has twice been given 5 to 7months to live...but he is still here & just celebrated his 70th Birthday.
So do NOT assume what my circumstance may or may not be...asinine of you to make that assumption.
You actually make my point for me..."know that quality of life would be a better CHOICE"
In other words...YOUR CHOICE...not a Doctors, or "expert" panel weighing the cost benefit actuary tables.
I did not make it Political...President Obama & the Democratically controlled House & Senate made Health-Care Poltiical with the A.C.A. and the discretion of these choices not by the patient & their family - but a "panel".
Get a clue before You make a comment.
They are coming for you. LOL
Munk - they are not coming for me...but if you think that You still have a choice...read the A.C.A. You do not have a choice at a certain point...It is the Law...read it.
Life of Service
The clock of life is wound but once
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour.
Now is the only time you own
Give, love, toil with will
Place no faith in tomorrow
For the clock may then be still.
Wow, nice.
What a slippery slope to determine the value of life based on our health conditions. These are the same concepts that Hitler endorsed and yes, that is a completely accurate comparison. He killed not only Jews and Christians but also, those past 50 years of age, those suffering from mental illness and those who had disabilities. He used the same method to convince people of his agenda, he used the media. Little by little till the people accepted his ideas.
Seriously. This is about people exercising Their freedom to make choices. Each person should have the right to do that-not you, the government, your family, or the family dog.
Don't assume that ALL elderly patients with cancer want to die.
But it will save so much money. The Dems don't care about people, they just care about give-aways, so they need to lower costs, so they can have more to buy votes with.
This is what Romney was talking about. The liberal system is a give-away system, but there is a catch; we don't have as much of a choice on what THEY allow us to do with our own lives. If it saves money, they want you to die. Watch as Obamacare slowly errodes our choices, and mandates what we must do.
no one wants to die. Thats the reason that many will take what ever treatment is offered. But there is a choice that you can make and not leave it to others to decide for you.
ahhhhh... here we go. The Dems total attention during their convention was aimed at making sure they could still kill their unborn. I have no idea what the fasination with killing your offspring is but they managed to ignore all the other ailments of this nation to showcase their allure to this heinous practice. Now here comes the left with the allure of telling someone when they have lived long enough. You damned guys sure want to be invasive in eveyones business. A panel to tell me that I need to just go ahead and die as I might not be a sound investment in further medical spending. Thank you very much but I'm going out that way. And guess what, when one of you clowns are facing the chance that someone else is going to tell you that times up...you're gonna scream too!!!
The word "NOT" was left out of my post when describing my philosophy about sucumbing to the death panels wishes. I'm NOT going out that way!!!
where in this article do you get a death panel? You are obsessed with politcs and not with end of life decisions we will all face one day.
Joy...you are looking past the obvious...must be nice to live in such a simple world. The A.C.A takes away "choice" that you had with your Mom...and gives it to a "panel"...it is in the Law...read it for yourself.
Silly people - read the Health Care bill - you and your family have NOTHING to say
about your care. A "panel" makes the decision. Reminds me so much of the movie
Soylent Green. Moving out of country to Central America when I retire where they
have a good health care program for retirees already in place. God and I will decide
when I am going to die - not some panel.
While the right pushing the "death panel" concept is absurd, so is the left pushing the "choose death" concept, to lower medical costs.
Here's my thought, BOTH SIDES BUTT OUT OF IT. These are personal decisions, and Obama, Romney, and everyone in between should just do their jobs, and SHUT UP.
Politicalizing a persons decision making process, and what options they have is wrong. Both sides are doing it, and both sides are wrong for doing it.
Why I find fault in this article, is it is "selling" the idea of chosing death as a cost saving factor.
This is my opinion, based on my experience, so you can disagree, but that doesn't make me wrong. I would never have an advanced directive, unless I no longer had family I could trust. Your family should understand how you feel about certain things, and they should make that judgement call.
Most people don't take the time to think what that directive means. They think "I don't want to be kept hooked up to a machine in a bed". Well, what if that were only for a week, and then you could go home? What if you say you don't want care at a certain point, not realizing that what you get causes you to still be alive, but they are letting you slowly starve to death? You are not a doctor, and you cannot possibly think of every scenario, but once you sign that document, your family's flexibility is gone.
My mother was once put in the hospital for acute pulmonary fibrosis. It is a fatal disease. She had a hole cut in her throat and was on a ventilator. She was pumped full of pain medication and didn't know what was going on a good part of the time. They told us she wouldn't make it out of the hospital, would probably not last much longer, and if she did, it would mean going to hospice and being hooked up to a ventilator and lying there basically in a coma until she died. It was recommended we disconnect her.
Well, she was 68, so should we have just said "she's old, what the heck"? Before she was put on the ventilator, from speaking to her, I knew she was still herself in there. My family was ready to give up, based on doctor recommendations, but I put my foot down and demanded we do whatever possible, as long as the goal was getting her back home. I took control of watching everything they did, doing research, etc.
My mother died, at home, four years later. During that time she wore portable oxygen and was well enough to still go out every day (with my assistance) and shop, go for rides, enjoy her yard and the birds she fed. She had told me she didn't want to live hooked up to a machine. There was no possible way she could have known how things eventually played out. If she'd had a directive, based on doctor's advice, we would have lost four years with her.
I am with You...my Father has pancreatic cancer...as of Oct. 2008...he has twice been given 5 to 7 months to live, but just celebrated his 70th Birthday on Sunday with his Family - including three grand-kids and had great time. He still loves to play tennis & goes into work each day. He chose to fight...and that is what we all need...the right to be able to choose.
Samantha - Sadly, the legal situation is the opposite of what you say should be the case. Doctors and hospitals want to extend life at all costs, both because they subscribe to a value system that treats that as the supreme value and because they profit hugely from it. If they can find any excuse not to pull the plug, they will. If you end up demented or brain-damaged and you have a directive that says you do not want to be kept alive on machines in that condition, but your kids are demanding that you be kept alive, the doctors will likely ignore your directive and follow their wishes. You'll never again have the ability to go get a lawyer, after all, whereas the kids will. In the reverse situation where you have no directive and your kids honorably say you would have preferred to die, the doctors will try to ignore their wishes because they can't prove that those were your wishes. In my state, you must not only have a directive but have it notarized, otherwise your family may not be able to have the plug pulled no matter how horrific your condition becomes. An advance directive, by the way, does not apply at all if you are only temporarily disabled. It is meant to protect you from excessive medical care if you are permanently incapacitated. If there is any point whatsoever when you'd want to say "enough," you need that paperwork, no matter how trustworthy your children are.
There is a lot that goes into advanced directives. While you may say that you dont want any artificial means of life, but usually there is a clause about how only if there is no chance of coming back. Plus advanced directives help families to make choices especially when they dont agree on the treatment. Advanced directives are only your wishes written out, but your family does not actually have to follow them!
Jane and ToniLynn, I won't argue with either of your opinions, but I don't know if either of you have actually dealt with this up close and personal. I have. I know what I am talking about, as far as my state goes, and as far as my mother's situation went. No doctor tried to keep her alive longer than we wanted. They told us of options, and all suggested that options to try to keep her alive were unlikely to succeed. We were taken to a paperwork-type person who worked with Medicare and also advised of our legal right to contact Medicare and dispute it when they would later intend to push her out of the hospital, if the Medicare ran out.
Thinks WERE pretty much the opposite of what you are saying. If you are just going by how things appear to be after reading about it, that is not how it was working in 2008 (yes before supposed Obama death panels). They would have let her go, if not for me insisting they take steps. As you can see, Robert's comment shows he had pretty much the same experience I had.
It depends very much upon the attitudes and beliefs of the individual doctors you have to deal with, and possibly the local hospital's religious affiliation, as well as the state where you live. I live in Missouri, the state whose government tried to force Karen Ann Quinlan's family to keep her "alive" on machines forever after she had already been a tube-fed vegetable for more than a decade. If that's not how you'd want to end up, believe me, in Missouri you need that paperwork.
If a patient has not clearly expressed their wishes, it's reasonable to have a default assumption that they'd want to be treated and keep "fighting" so long as there is a real chance that they'll come back from whatever has happened to them. But if the reason that they are unable to make decisions is that they have suffered massive brain damage or they have late-stage Alzheimer's, there's no real hope that they're ever again going to be enough of a functioning human being to enjoy shopping or feeding the birds. Why should the default assumption be that they'd have wanted to lie in a nursing home cultivating bedsores and bankrupting their families? How many of us really want to end up that way, when the end result is death in any case?
Quality of life is what is important. I am over 50. Medicines and various treatments have made it so many can live a lot longer than they would have. I would have died at 18 if born before emergency c-sections were an option. There are people who do not want to die even though it is inevitable- then there are those of us who realize that living with a constant barrage of medicine, tests, procedures can be awful and unnecessary and causes a great burden to everyone. It's all about personal choices, neither is right or wrong. I am a licensed social worker and have assisted people with Advanced Directives for many years.
Great Article !!! I do not believe in extending the life of the walking dead. It is a sad fact when you receive the notice that you have life ending illness. Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to try and beat death in 99 % of all cases doesn't work. The burden that these treatments put on our Medical System and the Social Welfare system are breaking the bank. The greatest reality check that anyone can ask of themselves and most certainly of their Doctors is "WHAT QUALITY of LIFE will I have ??? If you want endless pain and fifty hoses sticking out of every orifice you own, go for it and enjoy being part of the 99 %. If you still have half a brain, do yourself and your family a Blessed Favor and enjoy what life you have left with them. Your Doctor and You can make and END OF LIFE PACT to make it as comfortable and swift as possible before you travel the tunnel of LIGHT. Let your family keep that money so they may prosper after your death without having to fend off the Lawyers, Doctors, Hospitals and the Government.
GOD BLESS !!!
So who sets the dollar value on life or death decisions for me? You, the government, a panel? Who?
What if the diagnosis was wrong, or a treatment becomes available that would improve quality of life, but you're dead, so you don't get to CHOSE if you want to try it.
I think it is horrible that people can put a dollar value on a life. This is a personal decision, and they should be allowed to make that decision for themselves, and not be pressured because YOU think it would save money.
wtfwwus - Reality Check, Medicaid/Medicare are going broke. Obama Care will place financial burdens on people and businesses that will plunder the Medical System we now have. Most People who have major illnesses have paid little or nothing into either of the two existing programs. You do the Math, this is the reality of where we now are.
mike - I totally agree that Obamacare will be a real bad thing, one we hopefully can recover from.
However, are you supporting putting a price tag on someone's life? Who makes that decision? Right now, we're heading towards Obamacare panels doing this, which led to the radical right's exageration of death panels. But it does raise concerns on who makes the decision if someone lives or dies, based on the treatment they receive or don't recieve.
Reality isn't so clear as you want to make it to be.
Decent, hard working middle class people have already been doing this for years on their own. At least the responsible ones have been. When my Dad, and Mom, died, they died at home. Both had extended illnesses, and in a lot of other familys would have been in a hospital. But, they were both old fashioned, and wanted to die at home, in their own house, under their own rules.
Unless you want to give all your inheritance away, this is what you do. If you have enough willing family members, you all take turns taking care of them, in their own house. It's really pretty simple. You put one person in charge of keeping track of medications, doctors appointments, ect. We whipped out an old fashioned note book, kept track of what medications were given, at when times, and who gave them. Very simple.
When it was all said and done, my parents died with dignity, the way they wanted to go, and no extra bill's either. Even in death, we called the funeral home, NOT the ambulance to take them to the hospital. When they died, they went directly to the funeral home. They died, it was all over with, why the hell would you want to be dragged to the hospital? Very smart, we learned that from hospice, another group of fine people helping others die in their own homes with dignity.
We figured it out, and if just my Dad had went to the hospital and finished off the last of his days there, we would have spent somewhere around $200,000 dollars!! Wow, I was shocked when I heard that number. My parents didn't want to give away everything they worked their ass off their whole lives for to the hospital and doctors. They wanted to leave something for their kids, and grandkids. It's not that hard to do, and I don't know why people are having trouble figuring this out?
So well said. Thank you
I hope you all die when your time comes.
As a Stage Four, metastatic breast cancer patient, I find so many of these comments offensive beyond belief. This is not a political matter, it is a deeply personal, quite painful decision that the vast majority of us will eventually come to. So please, take your foolish, sometimes assinine comments to a political forum. Leave medical/ethical forums to those of us who want and need to consider the information provided therein.
I don't want to live past life being enjoyable and meaningful. And I wont. I have no problem euthanizing myself when the time comes. Whether its legal or not is irrelevant to me. Im not going to suffer for someone elses moral beliefs.
I think everyone should have the right to decide for themselves how long they want to keep fighting.